[Bulletproof BTS] RE:suming

Chapter 163

I will never forget that night.

he avoids me...

Laughing and crying in front of me, belittling myself with a smile, looking at me with a smile, the face I have seen countless times, the smile on the face is strange and numb...

I didn't know how to answer his series of questions, because what he said was what I thought in my heart.

I learned from the world trend that Star Lord and Justin are friends. To be honest, Star Lord's social circle is very small, and the rest of us can count on one hand.

We have heard more or less about Xingzhu's experience in high school, so we thought that Xingzhu didn't really have any friends in the United States, and Xingzhu didn't take the initiative to mention this relationship.

Justin was beyond our expectations. Although it has been two years since Justin’s incident, our country’s requirements for idols are far more stringent than those in Europe and the United States.

Before our debut, we had agreed to carry out the necessary self-management and self-discipline, including personal image, and Star Master is undoubtedly asking for trouble in doing so!

Even if you are drinking with friends, don't be photographed!

The company also quickly learned of the news, and the comments and speculations became more and more excessive. We were all looking for him frantically, but no one could contact him.

Where is he?

What are you doing?

Why didn't you reply to the message?

I don't know if it's because he is already battered?

Suddenly said to go back, suddenly appeared in the bar, there is no explanation or reply, I wonder if we are dying here?

The company approached me, 16 is a very critical year for us, we must be careful every step of the way, and we also have a plan to release a second regular album. With the lessons of "dark&wild", we must spend this year carefully... …

The success at the beginning of the year and every step after that, we have walked carefully. Even now we have no way to be on the show, no way to get more resources, and we have used everything we can to get to where we are today. We have exhausted everything up...

I don't want to waste the hard work of the past two years, I have finally come here, and I am coming back soon!

It's hard, it's really hard...

result……

The stars were blasted to the bar...

He just had his coming-of-age ceremony...

We understand you, what's the use of knowing what kind of person you are, the public doesn't know you, the public only knows that the people with you are people with bad criminal records...

And what I waited for was Star Lord standing there, laughing and crying silently, his questioning made those messy thoughts in my heart and the words I wanted to explain to Xing Xing suddenly disappear!

I looked at him standing there, looking at me behind his back, his eyes were helpless and disappointed, he was talking calmly, not noisy, but it made me feel even more uncomfortable...

I seem to have never really known Star Lord.

we hurt him...

Little by little in life, it slowly hurt him, like a chronic disease, bit by bit eating away at the star with a bright smile, and it became what it is today.

I think of the alleyway last year, we were purely close, and we just blurted out words of concern for him, but do I really care about him?

what do i care about

A lot of words that have already been thought out poured out of my mind, over and over again, it seems that there are only self-image and self-management, teamwork and team image...

All I care about is bulletproof...

Did I really care about Star Lord?

Do I know what he wants?

I think of when I did those ARMY mouth sugar behaviors, when I cheated myself with business, did he like it?

Is it just to cooperate with me...

The stars are crying...

Crying there silently, talking calmly while weeping, I found that my liking for him did not hurt him much at all, how sad he must be crying quietly like this...

What were the stars like in the first two years?

When he was attacked, he would cry directly, vent loudly, and even go back in the recorded program with dignity, and would fight directly with his manager for Jungkook...

And now...

He is so straightforward and clear...

Since when did it start, since when did the stars gradually change from my mind to the current stars?I caused it?

I have always been self-satisfied and proud of being able to shoulder the responsibility of the captain and manage the team well even after realizing my feelings for the stars...

Now it seems that this is not the case...

I wonder if I like him?

Like someone, is that right?

I also accepted the self who likes my teammates, although I was also afraid of such a self. Before that night, I never knew that I would read so much knowledge about the same sex because of the stars...

It’s also because of this that Brother Shuozhen found out. Brother Shuozhen’s unbelievable appearance and avoiding me made me a little sad. I don’t seem to like men, but because of Star Lord…

But now, I wonder if I like Star Lord?

Like him, so misunderstand him?

Like him, so ignore him?

Like him, so hurt him?

Or maybe I just shamelessly like that layer of skin. When I think of this possibility, I feel really disgusting...

Just like those people on the Internet scolding public figures who came out publicly, perverted, disgusting, mentally ill, this kind of cognition overwhelmed me, and made me always absent-minded in the next few days...

Am I like this?

Is this me?

he is avoiding me...

I stood up from the company. Even though I’m not in good shape recently, I can still feel that the stars are avoiding me. I want to apologize to him, and apologize to him seriously, but because of the return of the company, things are too serious. Much, I can't spare the full time.

The stars are wronged, wronged to cater to our requirements, what do the stars want?I don't think I've ever heard Xing Xing mention it, but what we want him to do...

And what am I doing?

I'm jealous of the relationship between Star Lord and Jimin, I'm jealous of ARMYs editing their relationship, so I'm close to Star Lord, doing so-called business......

Then, I gradually couldn't tell the difference between business and love...

I take all of this as I like Star Lord, and I watch with relish that the CP between me and Star Lord has gradually become a hot CP, but is this what he wants?

Are the stars happy?

Xing Xing looked at me with sad and discouraged eyes.

Disappointed?

Are you disappointed in me?

My heart seems to have been hit hard, even when I think about it, it still hurts dull, don’t look at me with this kind of eyes, this kind of chaotic state caused me to have an accident before returning, I was injured, and I had to suspend the following activities , recuperating at home.

Brother Shuozhen said that I deserve it, but I don’t deserve it...

When recuperating at home, I flipped through the memories of the past few years over and over again, watched videos about stars over and over again, and found that I had neglected a lot.

The envy in Xingxing's eyes when he went to Jungkook's entrance ceremony.

Xing Xing was exhausted in the practice room, but he still endured and handed the water to Jungkook first.

Xing Xing was injured on stage and finished the stage without saying a word.

Xing Xing is in various tidbits, comforting Hoseok, comforting Jungkook, and comforting me.

And who is comforting the stars?

We seem to have never paid attention to such a good star. He gave naturally, and we accepted it with peace of mind...

I take everything about Xing Xing for granted, he should give in to Jungkook as a matter of course, he should listen to his brother as a matter of course, and obey what we ask him to do as a matter of course.

Ha ha!

How come so many take it for granted!

He is Yin Xingzhu. As an independent thinker, he has his own standards and ability to judge. As the captain, I seem to use my standards to measure him and demand him.

hurt him in the end...

I was hurting him, maybe every day unconsciously hurting him.

And the stars I keep in my heart are still smiling every day...

shameful!

I found a video made by a self-proclaimed 4-year-old fan of Xingzhu. She compared the differences between Xingzhu and Jungkook over the years, the difference between us and the two of them, the difference in the direction of their growth, from what she felt. aspect.

My little star seems to be the only one I love...

Seeing the last words of this Ami, I can't help the emotions that are rushing in my chest, I am really bad, whether it is as the captain, teammate, brother...

As for people who like him?

Ah……

Can I still like him?

Can I still like such a sad and distressed star?

I want to apologize, I want to apologize seriously!

Star Lord, will you forgive me?

Star Lord, you will forgive me...

Really sorry……

Is there any chance for me to correct it?

Please don't disappoint me...